No where is the struggle of listening to your heart versus your head more potent than when engaging in estate planning. When designing an inheritance, my clients are often torn between doing what their head tells them when their heart is pulling in the other direction. I submit that in estate planning, it’s not an “either/or” (head or heart) but a “both.” And for the sake of multi-generational success, the heart is the more dominant force.
This message became clear to me on a recent trip with my wife Laurie to Lake Austin Spa to celebrate our 44th wedding anniversary. For those who know me, it comes as no surprise that I spend such spa getaways going from one fitness class to another, driven to make every minute productive. (I’m not resting on vacations; as my mother-in-law often said: “I’ll rest when I die.”) As the photo reveals, one such class was Tai Chi, taught by fitness guru David Robbins.
Tai Chi, like other Eastern disciplines, is a mix of body, mind, and spirit. At the end of the session, Robbins challenged us to interpret the phrase “White Belt: Mind; Black Belt: Heart.” I’m no karate kid, but I figured out that in the struggle between the two, the heart takes precedence over the mind. In the world of martial arts, a white belt is a beginner while a black belt represents skill, strength, and experience. A mature person puts his full heart into every effort. While your mind is an important part of the process, to achieve a successful outcome requires a heavy dose of heart.
What does this have to do with estate planning? In my 45-year law journey, I spent my beginning white belt years focused on the “head” side of planning. My primary attention was on the technical and tax aspects of estate planning. As I’ve ventured on toward the goal of becoming a black belt estate planning lawyer, I figured out the critical importance of the “heart” side of planning. It takes both—head and heart.
Numerous wake-up calls lead me to this place: inheritances gone bad, sibling warfare, and unprepared heirs. I repeatedly hear my TIGER21 colleagues say what keeps them awake at night isn’t money or investments, but it’s family matters. Experiencing life cycle events like my brother’s death and the births of my five grandkids awakened me to the role of estate planning in creating a lasting legacy. I took a deep dive into the waters of “FAST” trusts, family meetings, family governance, and preserving a heritage. I understand the need to be intentional about achieving multi-generational connectedness (“interdependence”). It takes more than “hope” for a family to remain strong over the years. Hope is not a strategy.
In my search for a label for this type of estate planning, I’ve considered many options: Family Legacy Planning, Qualitative Estate Planning, Holistic Estate Planning, the Soft Side of Estate Planning, Family Governance Planning, and Family-Centered Planning, but the one I keep coming back to is “Head & Heart” Estate Planning. My Tai Chi class makes me think that label may sum it up the best.
The Blum Firm welcomes the opportunity to assist with both the “head” and the “heart” aspects of your estate planning.
Marvin E. Blum
Marvin Blum’s Tai Chi class at Lake Austin Spa reaffirmed his commitment to “head & heart” estate planning.